like I have - and you 'hate it,' or hate how it affects others to the point you want to change? Then you should commit hard, and fight like hell not to falter. If you spend a huge chunk of your life being -phobic, hateful, violent, misogynistic, manipulative, etc. Maybe imma bitch with high expectations of herself & others, but i really dont think so. A lot of us poor folks with shit early lives don't get to be older & still free, so many of us die before we get to make that choice.

It's not our only choice forever though, and if we say that stuffs in our history, its our job to keep it in the past to do better and recognize when we aren't, even before we get called out. I get spending life feeling like a violence fueled predator, especially as a survival thing, or feeling like being hyper violent and opportunistic is your only choice. If we don't, we may be slippin in our private time, right back to skulking in the gutter. Still entirely on us to figure out WHY being that way felt okay, or acceptable, in that moment. Sure, some friends may help, or point stuff out. It is our job to keep our shittiness in check - no one elses - and how can we do that if we aren't regularly examining who we are, and what we're doing? What I am saying is that it feels like he doesn't constantly put in the work to see why what he is doing, is wrong, and unfortunately when you were a shit person for a long time, you have to self reflect and analyze your feelings/responses. That'd be horrid, dismissive, and very wrong. To be clear, i am not saying he hasn't changed for the better at all since he was growing up. Unfortunately Dem Atlas as well was being shitty.Īnyways, I had no clue about all this until yesterday, and I am thankful to know. Predatory, manipulative, misogynistic behavior. Hard to hear the cage rattling regardless, especially as situations encourage my adrenaline to pick up. Self control has improved enough I do well with it. To be clear, personally, i still think im garbage and struggle to shake the feeling that a rage fueled, gleefully violent monster lives inside my soul, but. Always got so much respect for others who grind through the toxicity and grow to be kind & accepting. Feeling the guilt or fully embracing my anger 24/7 at the time may have killed me, or put me in jail for life respectively. 11 years of reading, dissrctong my feelings, learning self control.

to overcome my version of That Shit - racism, misogyny, intense rage issues, etc etc took incredibly long. My issue is that i hoped he'd really shaken a lot of what people like us learn in those situations and its kinda seeming he hasn't enough for me to be hyped about him like I want to be. Only equipment is 3 tetherball posts and 1 of those dome jungle gym things.Īnyways yeah, i related.

Its surrounded on 3 sides by major roads, has a 10ft fence around the all concrete playground. Where I grew up is largely boarded up or gentrified, except the elementary school. I grew up similarly but in a different city. I watched this before I heard much of his music. New to /r/hiphopheads or hip-hop in general? There are a number of other ways to interact with other members of HHH: Last.fm Thread: What Have You Been Listening To This Week? Hype Tuesday: Post songs by artists that haven't gotten more than 50 upvotes on HHH 'Does anyone know what is happening with MIXTAPE?', 'What is the sample in SONG?')ĭo not create a separate self post for these types of discussions outside of this thread - if you do, your post will be removed, as stated in the guidelines. objective questions with right/wrong answers (e.g.Welcome to the /r/hiphopheads daily discussion thread!

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